Tuesdays with Morrie
We leave places. Along with places, we leave people behind. Remember, the last day of school or college where we promised each other to be in touch?
Soon, with the time that promise breaks. From the group of many folks, you made memories with. All we are in touch with comes down to a handful of them.
Reason? Oh…, we are too busy. Aren’t we? Same way some beautiful relationships we shared fade away with the passage of time.
Friendships? The bond with
the favourite school teacher. Who made sure you learn things beyond the usual subject?
That Professor who inspired you. And might have made you think these are the qualities I wish to learn?
Fast forward 22. In our own small world running in our own race, we keep moving forward. At times, forgetting the ones who are the main reasons behind where we have reached.
Tuesdays with Morrie. An old man, a young man and life’s greatest lesson. Morrie was Mitch’s college professor. Both shared a great bond, and on the orientation day, Mitch promised Morrie to keep in touch. Mitch got busy doing his job, lost touch with his professor. Year’s later he came to know somehow that his professor was not keeping good. Morrie was suffering from ALS. And had less time to live. As a result, Mitch went back to meet him.
What followed was this beautiful book!
Every Tuesday. Mitch met his mentor Morrie. And, learned life’s greatest lessons. This is how he narrates ……
No books were required, yet many topics were covered, including love, work, community, family, ageing, forgiveness and finally, death. The last lecture was brief only a few words. A funeral was held in lieu of graduation. Although no final examination was given, you were expected to produce one long paper on what was learned. That paper is the book. The last class of professor had only one student. Mitch.
- “Dying.” Morrie suddenly said, “ is only one thing to be sad over, Mitch. Living unhappily is something else. So, many people who come to visit me are unhappy. Mitch enquired Why?
Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We are teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own. Most people can’t do it. They are more unhappy than me-even in my current condition. - The Tension of Opposites?
Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
“A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.” - Mitch went to see the Wimbledon match with his friends. And he was knocked over by a British photographer who barely muttered “Sorry” for doing so. Incident reminded Mitch of what Morrie told him once.
So many people walk around with meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. - Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too- even when you are in dark. Even when you are falling.
- What if today was my last day on earth?
The culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks — we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So, we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking back at our lives and saying. “Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?”
You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won’t just happen automatically. *We all need teachers in our lives. And mine was sitting in front of me*(Mitch). - “Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live”
Most of us all walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do. Mitch was still not very convinced and enquired further. And facing death changes it all?
Oh, yes. You strip away all that stuff that you focus on the essentials. When you see you’re going to die, you see everything much differently.
Learn how to die, and you learn how to live. - Detaching Yourself
Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Take any emotion love, grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions — if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them — you can never get to be detached, you are too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief, you are afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help you. If you let fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar T-shirt, then you can say to yourself. “All right, it’s just fear. I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is”. - Fear of Ageing
All this emphasis on youth — I don’t buy it. Listen, I know what a misery being young can be, so don’t tell me it’s so great. All these kids who came to me with their struggles, their strife, their feelings of inadequacy, their sense that life is miserable, so bad they wanted to kill themselves …… And in addition to misery, the young are not wise. They have very little understanding about life. Who wants to live every day when you don’t know what’s going on? When people are manipulating you, telling you to buy this perfume and telling you’ll be beautiful, or this pair of jeans and you’ll be sexy — and you believe them. It’s just nonsense.
It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you’d be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Ageing is not just decay, you know. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you are going to die, and that you live a better life because of it. You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. - The Eighth Tuesday We talk about Money …
We put our values in wrong things. And it leads to very disillusioned lives. We’ve got a form of brainwashing going on in our country. They repeat something over and over. Owning things is good. More money is good, More property is good, more commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what’s really important anymore. - Confusion over what we want versus what we need
You need food, you won't want a chocolate sundae. You need to be honest with yourself. You don’t need the latest sports car, you don’t need the biggest house. - Satisfaction
Offering others what you have to give. I don’t mean money. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It’s not so hard. There is a senior centre opened near here. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you are a young man or young women and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. Say you know computers. You come there and teach them computers. You are very welcome there. There are plenty of places to do this. You don’t need big talent. - Finding meaningful life
Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for someone else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.
They called themselves Tuesday People. Each Tuesday was devoted to one topic.
The relationship they shared was relatable to the real life.
When it comes down to having simple pleasures in life. Learning from someone whom you look up to is one of the things that brings a smile. And something I look forward too.
Always! :)
